The toddler I nanny loves puzzles. He started with big piece puzzles and has moved on to smaller piece puzzles meant for older children. He loves the satisfaction of finding a piece that fits just right and the thrill of seeing the picture when he finishes.
I love puzzles too. But I love human puzzles. I love discovering people and how they are shaped. Why they fit into certain categories and how they feel about those stereotypes. I love connecting two people and watching them form a friendship, a relationship, a bond of trust. I feel the same joy as this child, combining his cardboard cutouts.
Sometimes puzzles can be deceptive. As I help this child put his puzzles together I've noticed a piece often doesn't look like it will fit in the negative space of the picture. The shape doesn't seem similar when held in my hand. But yet, it fits. Other times I find colors that must go together. I try to relate these pieces to each other, keeping them in piles designated to fit together eventually. More often than not I find the colors have tricked me and a piece lives on the far side of the puzzle from where I presumed it lived.
I do this with myself and my relationships. So often I see similarities in friends and romantic partners. "We must fit!" I tell myself. "Look how well we match!" But even with the best intentions and deciphering thoughts, only an exact combination of puzzle pieces will be the right fit and result in a final product.
I'm still looking for a few missing pieces.